Navigating Spiritual Growth: A Lifelong Journey Back to Nature

I've been on a lifelong spiritual journey, and like many others, I often find myself drawn back to nature. It serves as a reminder of the natural ebb and flow of the energy surrounding us daily. The challenge lies in accessing, utilizing, and knowing when to step back from this innate connection.

Throughout my childhood, I sensed a profound connection to something greater—an intangible yet undeniable presence. It wasn't until later that I recognized this connection as 'God,' a concept often associated with church attendance. Despite my parents' adherence to the ritual of Sunday worship, I remained perplexed, unable to grasp how to access or articulate this innate understanding.

Attending church often left me feeling inspired and motivated, but the sensation would vanish as quickly as it arrived. As a child, I experienced peculiar dreams where it felt like an unseen force pressed down on me, prompting me to seek solace in my parents' bed. Despite feeling an intuitive understanding of situations and occasionally being labeled as bossy for it, I had no idea I was tapping into psychic energy. In fact, I was unaware of the term 'psychic' until I encountered it in a church context, associated with negativity. However, my true connection to spirituality manifested outdoors, where I felt most alive—free to breathe, play, and commune with nature. It was there, amidst the sunshine and birdsong, that I unknowingly tapped into a profound energy, never fully comprehending its nature or significance.

As I entered my twenties and embarked on my college journey, the distance from my parents allowed me to rediscover my own energy. Yet, amidst the newfound independence, I found myself disconnected from the carefree essence of my inner child, which had thrived outdoors. Instead, I noticed myself harnessing unseen energies to shape my experiences, often leading to both creation and chaos. Despite my craving for deep connections, I struggled to fit into the typical college social scene of parties and superficial interactions. While I indulged in these experiences, I yearned for meaningful conversations about life, passions, and love. Without the solace of nature, I sought fulfillment through relationships, grappling with how to navigate them authentically. Confusion clouded my understanding of my unique energy, divergent from societal norms. As I matured, I felt my connection to this energy wane, replaced by lessons embedded within real-life young adult experiences.

Entering my thirties marked a significant period of spiritual expansion, though at the time, I wasn't fully conscious of it. What seemed like another chaotic chapter in my life ultimately attracted teachers and mentors who helped me navigate the mess I found myself in. For years, I hadn't recognized my role in creating these situations; I believed they simply happened to me. However, wisdom and truth gradually unveiled the reality. At 26, I made the decision to marry, seeking an escape from the monotony of my teaching career into the allure of a more adventurous life with someone from the radio industry. It was a bid for freedom from the confines of my family structure, particularly my mother, and a quest for personal autonomy. As I cycled through relationships, each seemed like a potential savior, offering an opportunity to break free from the maternal chains that seemed ever-present. Yet, the easy access to energy I once experienced in nature now manifested as a tangled web, driving me to seek escape and adventure, yet also compelling me to distance myself from my mother. How did the innate connection to energy from my childhood transform into a need for respite, symbolized by a desire to break away from the woman who raised me?

The decision to marry felt at odds with my innermost thoughts and feelings; yet, I pursued it, driven by a yearning for something greater, something imbued with this energy. Divorce swiftly followed at 30, propelling me into a profound spiritual journey, a voyage of self-discovery that had always been my path. It took breaking away from the woman who raised me to embark on a journey of discovering my own inner mother. Could I truly care for myself? Could I trust again? Would my longing to nurture manifest? Could I become a force for good, a modern-day Mother Teresa? These questions plagued me in moments of darkness, as I grappled with the bewildering transformation of the energy I once embraced joyfully as a child now tearing me apart as a young adult. How could I harness this energy differently, while simultaneously craving respite from its tumultuous effects?

Amidst the shadows of divorce and a whirlwind of guidance from various mentors and influencers, my life spiraled into a vortex of spiritual turbulence, revealing layers of ancestral healing I had yet to confront. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a psychic at a wellness expo that I found my way back to 'God,' or rather, embarked on a profound journey of self-forgiveness. Fueled by a desire to escape the discomfort of my own energy, I surrendered to a forgiveness process, catalyzing a monumental awakening unlike any before. This time, devoid of external influences, I delved inward, confronting and releasing years of pent-up resentment towards others and myself. As I shed layers of societal conditioning and external expectations, I embraced my true essence—the pure, unadulterated energy of Shelby. In that moment of surrender, I ceased to be a passive player in life's energies; instead, I became the very essence of energy itself—I became Shelby.

A year into this profound awakening that reshaped my existence, I still found myself grappling with the intricacies of this new journey. Yet, drawing upon my innate Piscean ability to flow with the currents of life, I embraced the unknown. It was a chance encounter with a guy facing incarceration that set off a chain of events leading me to an unexpected mentor—the jail priest—who would forever alter the course of my life by introducing me to the next mentor who would teach me how to work the energetic chessboard. Under her guidance, I embarked on a transformative journey that not only deepened my spiritual connection but also transcended generations, bridging the gap between my maternal and paternal lineage, and ushering me into the full expression of my spiritual essence.

Through her teachings and the profound wisdom of her Hawaiian system of Huna, I crossed paths with the man who would become my husband. He had been her student since the age of 16, and together, we embarked on a journey into a new realm of energy—an adventure best left for another tale. However, it was at the age of 38 when I encountered him, and as I entered my 40s, I began laying the groundwork to assist others on their quest for understanding the enigmatic forces that shape our existence. This journey led me to establish a tribe, develop a spiritual school curriculum, and delve deeper into the intricacies of energy through mentorship. I learned the importance of allowing others to navigate their own energy experiences, rather than guiding them through mine—a pivotal lesson in relinquishing ego-centric tendencies.

As I embrace the dawn of my fifties, I reflect on the profound journey of growth facilitated by years of learning from teachers, mentors, and influencers. Today, I stand as a sovereign being, a devoted wife, a nurturing mother, and an empowered teacher—whole and complete in every aspect. This new decade fills me with excitement, for I have finally integrated all the fragmented pieces of myself into a harmonious whole. Life has come full circle as my inner child, now granted permission to return to nature, rejoices in reconnecting with the energies that once fueled my spirit. With a deeper understanding of energy dynamics, I navigate relationships with newfound ethical and safe practices, extending compassion to those who are still learning to manage their own energy. No longer do I seek to retreat from connection; instead, I wholeheartedly embrace it, recognizing that every step backward has propelled me further along my path. As I return to nature, I find solace in returning to myself. And I wonder, where are you on your journey? How can I support you in embracing the place you find yourself now?

Until next time...

Shelby